I, like most people it seems, have an addictive personality. I used to smoke, drink, watch porn, eat junk food, play video games etc. I realized that when I like something, I go all out on it. Now, like all addicts we must first admit that this is part of who we are, and the worst way to think is that you can stop this way of thinking. The key is to replace the negative addictions with positive ones.
Acceptance is not an excuse to continue the bad behavior. Acceptance is when you realize that this is who you are. You accept your flaws as well as your positive traits. If you don’t admit to yourself that you have a problem, and I mean this in any situation, then you can’t change it. Notice I say change, because we’re not fixing a problem, but redirecting your resources.
You are who you are. You’re the same person you always were. Sure you may have more money than you used to, or you may be able to lift more weights then you used to, but at the core you’re the same guy. The worst advice to give someone is that there is something wrong with them. You’re not good enough because you play too many video games or watch too much porn. That sets a negative precedent in your mind, and far too often it leads to even more negative behavior.
Once again, this is not like the fat SJW on tumblr who proclaims that she is beautiful despite looking like a farm animal. She isn’t accepting that she is a fat slob but instead telling everyone else that they are wrong. Shes not accepting the fact that she is destroying her body, yet shes redefining the rules to suit her distorted view of reality, and feeding the negativity that is her gluttony. I highly doubt that inside she feels good about herself because she has to tell everyone that she is.
Breaking it down like that, if you’re addicted to junk food, then you must accept that you’ll be a fat fuck if you choose to continue. If you’re a smoker, you accept the fact that you’re killing yourself. The addiction itself isn’t the focus, its you. You are the one who lets these things into your life, and only you can change it.
How many people quit smoking and gain a ton of weight? How many people quit drinking, but start smoking pot? The reality is that we are all somewhat addictive. Biologically it makes sense to have this mannerism. Fatty, carb rich food tastes good because from a survival point of view, you were getting a ton of calories, and who knew when you’d eat again. From another point of view, seeing a woman with big tits gets you turned on because once again, from a biological point of view, it looks good because she would be a better potential mate due to good genes.
What I’ve realized and have started to do is redirect my addictions towards positive things. You must replace the negative habits with positive ones if you want to succeed. Success is personal, and everyone will have to do this differently. I will show you guys the chart below that I created to replace my bad habits.
These are what work for me, but you’ll have to draw your own positive replacements. The truth of it is that bad habits are time wasters, while good habits are time well spent.
You may dip back into the bad behavior and that is okay. The problem is when one bad slip up derails your whole process. For some people, not exercising may lead to you wanting to “feel good” so you buy a pack of smokes or play some video games. Then you go on to eat shitty food later on and before you know it, you’re not doing what you set out to do because you let the negative addictions take over.
If you do relapse, accept it again. Accept it as one minor slip up, analyze what led you to slip up, and get back on the horse. Some things are going to be easier to kick than others. Video games and junk food were easy for me, while smoking and drinking proved to be more difficult. Also, the positive replacements aren’t set in stone. Sometimes if I get the feeling I want to drink, I’ll go for a walk, do some push ups, or write on here. As long as you don’t fall back into the negative side, you’re doing good.
Another key thing to remember is that if you’re an addictive person, those negative behaviors can come back with a vengeance, but that is if you choose to let it. How many times have you heard about a drunk or drug addict that got “clean” for years only to fall back down the rabbit hole.
Some people advocate that they can start doing the bad habits again after abstaining from it, but personally I tend to just avoid it for at least a month if you truly want to stop. I quit drinking for a month and now I can enjoy a glass of bourbon here and there, but I don’t “need” it. Addiction comes when you think you can’t get through the night without a cigarette or a shot of vodka. Its all in your head. Engaging in a negative behavior here and there solidifies my point that you can accept it as a minor slip up and get back on track. You chose to engage, and now you choose not to.
Not giving these things control over your life is paramount. Enjoying a slice of pizza isn’t going to kill you, but eating a whole pie is bad. While I think certain things like porn and drugs should be avoided at all costs, others like a chocolate chip cookie or a cigar won’t be too bad as long as you keep it in check. Life life, get what you want out of it, and realize that you control your story. What do you want that book to look like?