“Man is affected not by events, but by the view he takes of them” – Epictetus
As a man you are expected to handle the dirty, bloody, grim parts of life. A mans ability to keep his cool and think rationally in any situation is something that has been desired and admired through the ages. Today I’ll go over why this is and tips on how to stay calm and comfortable no matter what you’re faced with.
You have to be 100% real with yourself. I really hate the “fake it til you make it” worldview. For me, I have to commit to something and work towards accomplishing it. To be stoic, you have to make decisions for yourself that will change your outcome with others and the world in general.
Accept What You Can and Can’t Control
The ability to adapt and react in any situation is key here. This is the fundamental concept of Stoicism. There are going to be some things that rupture your predetermined view of how things are going. It could be a date that flaked out on you or a major emergency at work. The key is to accept that you’re in a fucked up situation, decide that you are going to change it, and act on that decision, and to handle it like a man. No bitching here. There are also situations that are completely above your skills/abilities. Accepting that you can not control the entire world is paramount.
There are some aspects of your life you should never accept failure. Health, game, and income should never be neglected, but there is even some instances where you can loosen your grip (eating pizza, taking a day off just for the fun of it etc) as long as you keep it in check.
When you begin any journey to better yourself, you’re going to be faced with people who are negative. Another concept I like to use is to never let someones negativity affect me. I’m not talking about someone directly disrespecting you either. What I mean is there are times when people around you are bitching and complaining or trying to get you to support their views.
Sometimes it can be a one on one conversation where the person has nothing but negative responses to your conversation. I simply laugh at these people. Keeping cool and positive while they spew their bullshit keeps you in the winning light.
Why Is Any Of This Important?
Men are trusted to be dependable. You must be the rock that defends yourself and your own kind. I’ve had multiple people congratulate me on my ability to act when I had to, all the while remaining calm.
There are fucked up things you’re going to have to deal with a man. You must at all times be ready to handle whatever is thrown your way.