Whether failing a rep at the gym, not completing a project on time, or being too much of a pussy to get a girl’s phone number, failure is a part of life.  All men fail at some point and you must realize that in order to grow, you’re going to get thrown off the horse at some point.  Today, we’ll go over how to identify patterns that lead to failure and tips to get back on track.

Identify and Accept

The common man gets caught in a feedback loop of failure.  They fail at something which makes them feel like shit, so they engage in shitty behaviors (binge drinking, eating junk food, jacking off to porn etc) which only provides a temporary “cure.”  After the high is gone, they feel even worse because they now have just prolonged the guilt.

A key to failing is identifying why you failed.  Did you not eat enough/get enough sleep before working out?  Did you fuck around on your smart phone instead of studying for that big test?  Did you hesitate and get too caught up in your head to ask that girl out?  At every failure there is something YOU did or didn’t do to get you there.

The second facet of dealing with failure is to accept it.  In the past, if I failed, I would mentally beat my self up about it all day.  Engage in the shitty “coping” mechanisms listed above and just live a life of shit.

When you fail, you must accept that you have done it.  For me, if I fail to meet a goal, I look myself in the mirror and say “I fucked this up, I wont do X because I want to reach Y”  Don’t guilt yourself too much because we’re trying to reinforce positive behavior and thoughts.  At the same time, don’t hamster yourself.  Making excuses and bitching are traits that no man should have.  You have to own up to your actions good and bad.

Learn How To Win

Once you’ve identified and accepted your failure, you have to get back on track.  Evaluate what lead to you failing and try different ways to fix it.  One way i overcame failing to go to the gym was to wake up early and lift.  Challenge yourself to get out of your comfort zone and over enough time and overcoming failures you’ll become a master.  The key to any success is time in and always pushing yourself further.

-J. Nyx